Masturbation For Self Care: Breaking the Stigma Around Female Pleasure

Livia Boerger
3 min readMay 12, 2022

It’s no secret that masturbation feels good, but did you know it’s also really good for your body and mind? As we as a society continue to break down the stigma around female pleasure, we learn more about the benefits of masturbation and sexual exploration. In short, masturbation is a form of self care, and it should be celebrated as such.

The Stigma Around Female Pleasure

As women, we’re taught that our pleasure is something to be ashamed of. At best, we’re taught to keep our desire to ourselves, hide behind the pastel covers of romance novels, and “save ourselves” for our future partners. At worst, we’re openly shamed for wanting sex and being sexual beings.

At its core, the stigma around female pleasure comes from a lack of education. I grew up hearing about male masturbation everywhere (whether I wanted to or not): in conversations I overheard at school, in jokes on TV, you name it.

Luckily, young women today have tons of online resources to turn to, but that wasn’t always the case. More education, conversation, and research about female pleasure make it more acceptable to talk about with everyone from your besties to your OBGYN. It’s time the entire world saw how beneficial masturbation can be!

Benefits of Masturbation for Self Care

It’s no secret that there are tons of health benefits to masturbation, including improved sleep, reduced stress, and even relieving menstrual cramps. But from a self care perspective, the benefits go way beyond the physical!

Masturbation is an exercise in self-pleasure. It means getting to know your body, learning how you receive pleasure, and tending to your sexual side. It can give you the same warm-and-fuzzy feeling of calm that you get when you take a hot bath or finish a yoga class. It might sound a little woo, but self-pleasure is one of the best ways to nurture your body and relax your mind.

How to Integrate Masturbation Into Your Self Care Routine

If you really want to make self-pleasure part of your self care routine (which you should!), here’s how to do it.

Set the mood.

Just because you’re ‘getting it on’ alone doesn’t make it any less special! Put on some music, dim the lights, and settle in for some self care. Put on something comfy that makes you feel sexy. (Or take everything off. Whatever floats your boat!)


There’s no better time to experiment than when you’re totally alone. Invest in a new sex toy, try a different technique, or read something saucy to get you extra in the mood.

Take your time.

Pleasure shouldn’t feel like a chore. Set aside plenty of time to explore your body, ease yourself into it, and really feel your pleasure. The best part of self-pleasure is that you can do whatever you want for however long you want!

Release the shame!

It’s unfortunately super common to feel ashamed or embarrassed after you masturbate. As you add self-pleasure to your self care routine, practice releasing that shame. Remind yourself…

  • “I am allowed to feel desire and pleasure.”
  • “My sexuality is part of who I am, and it should be celebrated.”
  • “I’m giving my body the good feelings it wants.”

It takes time, but once you can release the shame, you’ll find that you enjoy self-pleasure even more!

And if you have trouble relaxing and finding restful moments in your life, check out my guide with the 7 types of rest you need to fully switch off and feel balanced.



Livia Boerger

Livia is a Mental Wellbeing Coach and helps womxn live with intention & prioritize their wellbeing. Grab your free self-care planner: